mindset!!!

This is something all of us have & sometimes is also the cause of so much happiness or unhappiness as the case may be. The other day while talking to a friend who is living and working abroad, I could feel her anguish regarding her parent's MINDSET. They are in India & her mother suffers from severe rhuematism. My friend has all all the facilities at her disposal & the drugs required to reduce the pain & suffering that her mother is undergoing. But unfortunately a MINDSET problem that parents cant stay with their married daughters is keeping them away. Incidentally, they belong to North India where this MINDSET is more predominantly exhibited by parents.



How does a daughter go about changing this mindset of educated parents?? Dont daughters have the same rights over parents & their well being as much as sons? By having such a mindset daughters are always going to feel less important & less capable than sons. Belonging to the South and more specifically Kerala, I know how much it means to have the oppurtunity & desire to take care of parents. Kerala is one such state where most parents dont have any hesitation to stay & be looked after by daughters if the need arises. This is not to belitle their son(s) but to drive home the fact that for parents all their children are equal . The right to take care of parents can be eually shared & enjoyed by sons & daughters. Having parents staying with daughter & son-in-law is a veryy common sight in Kerala. The sons-in-law & their parents have utmost regard & respect for such arrangements. Fortunately we see a positive influence of this picture in the neighbouring southern states.

If this mindset is inculcated in the Northern clulture many parents would find peace & happiness in their twilight years by staying with their daughters. The hesitation would then be a thing of the past & the sons would also feel more willing to be a part of the" caring for aged parents " phase since it will be a shared responsibilty & they will soon realise that they can depend also on their sisters in matters relating to parental care.



Maybe we, as children of aging parents could make it our endeavour to bring a change in the MINDSET ...... after all this is a meaningful & satisfying activity & in the end all parents would make another daughter happy. Who knows before long my friend will have her wish of taking care of her parents & geting the best treatment for her mother fulfilled...all because we helped in changing the "age old" MINDSET!!!

power of a smile!!! :)

On my morning walk today I realised why I feel charged from the time I am up to the time I go to bed. Its the power of the smiles I receive & give to all those unknown people during that 30 minute walk when even the nature seems to be smiling at me benevolently. Makes me want to misquote a slightly different version of the Boost Advertisement ”Smile is the secret of my Energy”. Well all it takes is a small action but the response is so instant & spontaneous that it makes even an ordinary face seem so beautiful.

Looking back I now realise that the faces of a smiling staff, a bank personnel, or a shopkeeper are more vividly etched in my memory even today & made me apreciate them & their actions at that particular moment. That in turn makes the statement ”service with a smile” so apt. It will surely evoke lesser altercations at bus stops, raillway counters, post offices, & wherever mass human to human interactions takes place. I have also realised that this simple action makes one more calmer, more approachable & happy throughout the day. It also makes our day to day tasks more managable, & achievable since smiling boosts the energy & gives more enthusiasam at work

Easier said than done? Not at all since I believe in two things “practice makes one perfect” & “what goes around comes back"